And When They Come Back; Don’t Forget How They Left

They always come back. They might not come back right away or when you want them too. But sooner or later they do. Some come back because they miss the past and wonder if you’d answer. Some realise the mistake they made and want to make it right. Some feel such guilt for how it ended. Some only come back to clean their slate and disappear again. Some come back for good. You’ll never really know when or why they will come back. But when they do, don’t forget how they left.

Remember how hard you cried during that final conversation.

Remember the trust they broke. 

Remember all the damage that was done.

Remember the constant betrayal after they left.

Remember those nights you couldn’t sleep and those mornings you didn’t want to wake up. 

Remember the friends and family that were there picking you up at your worst and how their heart broke too.

Remember the many times you tried to get a response but never did. 

Remember how they decided to speak to anyone else but completely ignored you. 

Remember them reaching out to your nemesis instead of reaching out to you. 

Remember how they wanted you to feel and think just so they wouldn’t have to acknowledge their own actions.

Remember the gaslighting and denial.

Remember the pain you had to get used to in order to function. 

Remember the trauma and scars. 

Remember the lies and broken promises.

Remember how they walked away and let you go.

Remember how they weren’t ready to commit to you or the relationship anymore.

Remember how you were not their priority.

Remember how they wouldn’t and didn’t choose you.

Remember the lack of respect and acceptance from all four corners.

Remember how easily they left without looking back.

They always come back especially when you’ve moved on. They always think you’ll just be right there waiting for them. And maybe you have been for weeks and months. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Never let anyone be too comfortable walking in and out of your life whenever they want to based on their convenience. They’ve become too used to you forgiving them. Stop being a safety net and giving excuses for their actions. They knew exactly what they were doing and they didn’t care. They knew you were hurting. They knew you were broken. They knew it would break your heart even more when you heard and saw the things they were doing. But they didn’t care. They continued hurting you cause maybe that was exactly their intention. To cause more hurt. They never gave a second thought about how you might feel and the hurt they were causing.

If they were manipulative or played with your feelings before, you might be filled with doubtS on whether their return is even genuine. Do they really mean what they’re saying ? Or is there an ulterior motive? Sometimes they return just to make sure they’ve managed to kill you spiritually. Sometimes they do it to feed their egos and to prove to themselves that they simply can. But you know what ? You really shouldn’t care about their intentions anyways. They had their chance and they took their own sweet time.

I know all of this sounds bitter and full of anger and grudge. But you should remember these negative things so that you can remember the positives too.

Remember how you picked yourself up again. 

Remember that you know it’s too late.

Remember the strength you gained when you fell too weak. 

Remember the forgiveness you gave even though the words “I`m sorry” were mute. 

Remember how you learned to love yourself again.

Remember the notes you left for yourself in your diary.

Remember that first night in a long time, where you finally went to bed on a dry pillow and woke up with a spring in your steps.

Remember the family you grew closer too and the new friends you’ve made. 

Remember the fear you overcame by not keeping silent anymore. 

Remember how their absence has made your life a thousand times better.

Remember how you learnt to live and thrive without them. 

Remember where you are right now and how far you’ve come.

Remember the projects you started as a coping mechanism to keep your mind preoccupied and refocused.

Remember how its grown to be something more now.

Remember that no one deserves to be treated the way you have been. 

Remember all the promises you started keeping to yourself.

Remember that after all that time, those tears have finally turned into smiles.

One day they will no longer be the first and last thought that goes through your mind. One day, you will start to live your life again. Do not let nostalgia affect your decision on whether or not to keep them at bay. You have to look at things realistically and remember everything that was done whilst not forgetting the personal progress you’ve made. The best feeling in the world is when you’re past the stage of wanting them to come back, to wanting absolutely nothing to do with them. 

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Nikku Sandhu

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